Tax filings may have been extended until July 15, but our busy season wasn’t postponed. We’ve been working on the Paycheck Protection Program and other CARES Act issues, while socially distancing in the office.
At the same time, we’ve enjoyed all the work-from-home, toilet-paper-as-gold and quarantine memes and jokes. (Have you seen the one with the handsome gentleman in coat, tie and running shorts while teleconferencing? Or the Brady Bunch grid portrayed as a Zoom call screen?)
As the new tax deadline approaches, we thought it would be fun to add tax jokes to the 2020 humor mix. We searched the Internet and asked our colleagues for their funniest. Enjoy this collection and feel free to share! (And, check out these oldies but goodies for more CPA humor.)
Are elephants deductible? A financial planner suggested to a wealthy client that he invest in a circus. The client expressed great surprise at the unusual recommendation: “A circus? Why on earth would I buy a circus?” The financial planner replied: “Because of the elephants.” The client, puzzled even more, asked: “The elephants? What is the connection between circus elephants and investments?” The financial planner asked: “Well, do you know much it costs to feed an elephant?” The client, slightly annoyed, responded: “No, of course not.” The financial planner explained: “Well, neither does the IRS.”
How do dairy farms do their taxes? Well, the ones with simple taxes use a cowculator, but the ones with complicated situations have to go to an accowntant.
What do you call a Sith Lord who doesn’t pay taxes? A tax e-vader.
Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, “Don’t worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.” “Really? Why?” asks his friend. “I owe the IRS five years’ worth of taxes,” declares the first.
Why are Sherlock Holmes’ taxes so low? He’s a master of deduction.
How to pay your taxes? “You should pay your tax with a smile,” says the CPA. “I have tried several times, but every time they insist on cash,” replies the taxpayer.
Even Santa pays taxes. Jim got a job at the North Pole right before Christmas. Because he was an accountant and not an elf, Jim assumed he would be doing taxes in the New Year. He asked Santa about the elves’ tax status and was told they were all elf employed.
A man made a Freedom of Information request to the IRS, asking whether there was an audit file on him. A week later he received the reply. It said: “There is now.”
What’s the difference between death and taxes? Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death worse.
What’s the difference between a fine and a tax? A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
We’d love to hear your favorites as well. Send them to us and we’ll add them to the list. We’re ready to help with your 2019 tax returns and 2020 planning. If you have any questions, contact us today!